Bryan squeezes my upper arm affectionately when I walk by. Bryan hugs me close and meaningfully when I am setting off. Bryan places a soft, open hand firmly on the small of my back when standing next to him. This was last night, and every night actually, wherein which we encounter another, when we join for a rendezvous out in the pub, when we meet over coffee and tea, when we meet in passing.
We fooled around at the karaoke bar, he nudged me with the side of his hip until I agreed to sing cheesy love songs with him. I had to leave. I was just meeting for a little while. He’d stopped talking to his friends when I’d arrived just to take me to a table and talk with him . That’s when I had to politely make excuses to leave. I won’t allow myself to pretend that I am not second best to this other girl and I will not hurt myself waiting around for him to fall more in love with me than he is with her.
If the timing isn’t right now, but will be in the future, then the opportunity will prevent itself. I’m not pushing for anything to happen. Besides, I wanna leave this town as soon as I can, so it would not be advantageous to tie myself down to Arizona. Thats what I tell myself.