going to the doctor is bad for my self esteem
I meant that comically
Yesterday during a check up on my lady parts I realized that doctor’s general comments of analysis can also be pictured coming from the mouth of a catty girlfriend. It seemed awfully back-handed. I was still amused.
“Ah, so your nipples are inverted but that’s nothing to worry about. They will pop out when you have a baby.” thanks for noticing. also note, when I have a baby. What if I never want any children? I sure as hell never plan on getting pregnant and spreading my genes on. Yes, I will be adopting. “One of your breasts is obviously smaller than the other. That’s normal.” again, thanks for noticing. “Hmmm, Ok, so feel this.” Grabs my hand and puts in on my breast. I panic at the lump she was palpating, that I never really thought to be of concern. “See that? That is breast tissue. Nothing to worry about.” just breast tissue? Oh fucking course! what else would that be, if not out of the ordinary? “Breasts are filled with fatty breast tissue.” and veins are filled with bloody blood cells. thanks for the anatomy lesson.
“Wow, your cervix is really up in there! You’re deeper than most women.” thanks for the implication. “Of course, that will be pushed forward when you have a baby.” Again, with the baby.